By Pastor David Santiago
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Ephesians 4:32
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful commands in Scripture and one of the hardest to live out.
When someone has wounded us deeply, forgiveness can feel impossible. The pain is real. The betrayal is raw. And the idea of releasing that debt feels unfair. But Scripture does not call us to forgive because it is easy. It calls us to forgive because it is essential. For our healing. For our freedom. For our walk with Christ.
Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that forgiveness is not just a moral duty. It is a reflection of the gospel. We forgive because we have been forgiven.
Scripture Shows Us the Struggle and the Power of Forgiveness
The Bible does not minimize the pain of offense. It names it. And it shows us how forgiveness transforms:
- Joseph forgave his brothers who sold him into slavery
- David spared Saul even after being hunted
- Jesus forgave those who crucified Him
- Stephen forgave his killers with his final breath
These stories show us that forgiveness is not weakness. It is spiritual strength.
What Forgiveness Is and Is Not
- Forgiveness is releasing the right to revenge
- Forgiveness is not forgetting or excusing the offense
- Forgiveness is choosing freedom over bitterness
- Forgiveness is not always reconciliation, but it opens the door
- Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision
How to Begin Forgiving When It Feels Impossible
- Name the wound honestly. God can handle your pain
- Remember how much you have been forgiven
- Pray for the strength to release the offense
- Set boundaries if needed. Forgiveness does not mean enabling
- Repeat the process. Forgiveness often happens in layers
How the Church Can Help People Forgive
- Teach the full gospel, including the cost and beauty of forgiveness
- Create safe spaces for people to process pain
- Offer pastoral care that listens and guides gently
- Share testimonies of forgiveness that led to healing
- Model forgiveness in leadership and relationships
A Word to the Wounded
If you are struggling to forgive, you are not alone. You are not failing. You are human. And you are loved. Ephesians 4:32 is not a demand to perform. It is an invitation to receive grace and extend it. Forgiveness may feel impossible. But with God, it is possible. And it is powerful.
A Prayer for the Journey of Forgiveness
Lord,
You are the God who forgives. For every heart carrying the weight of offense, draw near.
Give courage to name the pain.
Give grace to release the debt.
Give wisdom to set boundaries.
And give peace that passes understanding.
Let your church be a place where forgiveness is not forced but formed.
Where healing is not rushed but received.
And where grace flows freely, just as it did from the cross.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen.
Selah.